


Camellia's Affections

by ka_n_eki



Category: Free!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Florist Makoto, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Panic Attacks, Slow Build, Social Anxiety, artist haru, i dunno it deals with haru trying to recover from a very pained lifestyle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3336764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ka_n_eki/pseuds/ka_n_eki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru remembers living a cold, lonely life. Makoto tries to fill his heart with flowers. For they have never met, never created that everlasting friendship. So that begs the question, what would happen if one day they did?</p><p>An au about an artist Haru and a florist Makoto realizing they are neighbors, slowly entangling themselves together in their lonely lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Water Colour

Painting like this allowed for a limited amount of his thoughts to be transferred onto paper. The colors swirled into pools, catching the reflecting light in such a way, it was rather beautiful. Brush strokes, similar to swimming strokes, latching onto his mind whilst he paints, creating the illusion of embracing the water once again. 

People would question his intentions and form their own opinions based on the supposed 'depth' of his art. To be quite honest his thoughts that were translated are only those of oblivion. There was no philosophically meaning behind his pieces, although most beg to differ. Haru cannot transfer a deeper meaning onto a canvas, nor admit to anyone. 

No one seemed willing to understand anyway. 

  
  
  


Haru retracted his gaze from the steady stream of blurred watercolor running down his canvas, to peer at his desk. The crowded space allowed for poor visibility onto what laid atop, however he had just recently bought a fresh pair of inks, so they'll be easier to sight than most. He just had to search for a familiar plastic bag logo and would soon find them. 

Sure enough the bag rested upon a worn pile of dirty sketchbooks. Haru stood up, taking a few minutes to stretch and move the water cup onto a safer part of the table. He made his way towards the desk, revealing what was wrapped inside. Two small bottles of black ink were sitting, knocked over onto their sides. Haru reached for one bottle and made his way back to his seat in front of the canvas. 

He was commissioned this piece for a local art exhibition that was coming into the small town of Iwatobi. The client had requested a special inked piece however they gave him creative control over the entirety of the piece that wasn't being consumed by the pitch black of the ink. Traditionally he chose watercolor, for it complemented the ink better than acrylics. Apparently the client's boss had seen his work, along with others from across Iwatobi, and had wanted to show off our young artists. Haru didn't pay much mind to the reasoning, as long as he got to paint, he didn't care for the occasion. 

Haru clears a tiny space for the bottle and twists around looking for the inking brushes. Inking brushes are far different from regular brushes, due to their bristles needing to be more absorbent and thinner in order to apply the ink to the medium correctly. He had learned from his mistakes, expecting a smaller brush to work, however Haru was disappointed with the lack of ink that transferred through the brush. From there on he used the proper equipment to ink. It came out nicer and easier. 

Haru twirled the brush in the ink, allowing for it to soak. 

He then lifted the brush out of the ink, revealing a rather large disappointment. The brushes were always pretty worn, but they still pulled off a tight job. However the bristles began to shake off and fall into the bottle of ink. Haru quickly threw the brush into the cup of water and closed the ink bottle shut. He jogged over to grab a paper towel from his desk. Haru flicked the brush in the water and tried to pat it dry with the paper towel, however it just caused more bristles to follow the path of retreat from the neck of the brush. 

Haru shook his head and walked over to the trash can in the kitchen, opened it, and dropped the broken brush inside. What a waste, he should've been more careful. He had only three inking brushes, and all were in the same condition as this one. He'll have to buy more. How unpleasant. 

Haru stalked over to the small closet near the front door. Even though it was early September, some days seemed to pass a cold chill through the town. Today was one of those days. So he decided on a light grey sweater and slipped his shoes on. Haru jogged back to retrieve his wallet and put it in his pocket. He dug around for his keys, closing the door, now outside. Haru sighs and pivots on his foot, heading towards the stairs. He just wanted to have a quiet day. 

Before Haru has time to clear out of the way, let alone react, a man carrying something rather heavy rushes out of the room next door. Haru chokes on a breath while that something hits him in the ribs and knocks him off his feet. The thing turns out to be a large bag of gardening soil, creeping it's way up his body, moving it's plastic way to coil around his throat. To Haru's approval, the man picks the bag up off his body and supports it against the wall of the building. Haru stares at him for a minute, the man's hands hovering above Haru's shoulders. Haru starts to get up and his hands only move a little further than their original position. He doesn't stay like this long though, because soon his eyes exchange glances from Haru's door, and back to his torso. 

Haru raised a questioning eyebrow before the man stops darting his eyes and a look of fright consumes his expression. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!" His hands tremble while he begins to brush the fabric of Haru's shirt, around his stomach. Haru hadn't noticed, but when he looked down he was covered in a layer of thick black soil. The man started to brush faster, ruling out apology after apology. Haru sighed and closed his eyes. The soil could be easily removed with the right laundry detergent. 

Haru reopened his eyes due to the absence of a brushing hand and looked to see the man standing a little further away picking up the bag of soil that was resting against the wall. He turned to face him and averted his gaze from Haru, instead staring at the floor. 

"I truly am sorry. I was careless." Haru continued to stare at him, controlled with little emotion. He looked at Haru, then he smiled. Haru just watched him, curiously. 

"My name's Tachibana Makoto. I am sorry for what I did to your clothes. Can I offer you a cup of coffee to make up for it? It's not much but-" Makoto paused for a second, not wanting to continue. Probably because Haru had given him a very serious look before turning my head to the side. 

"It's fine." He hears Makoto laugh to himself quietly, a cautious laugh. 

Haru gets back on his feet and does his own version of a brushing near the fated dirt spot but doesn't look at Makoto, whom has now shifted towards the door of his apartment. 

"I have to buy brushes today." Haru tries his best to not come off as rude but ends up awkwardly shimming past Makoto, and nearly tripping on the stairs. He had no real reason to be so quick and careless but he simply just wanted to buy his brushes and retreat back into his apartment, detached from society for a solid ten hours. There was a noise picking at the back of his mind telling him to apologize, but then again apologizing lead to another conversation starter he didn't want to deal with. 

  
  
  


_"People deserve better than you. You cannot even simply apologize."_

He tried. 

_"He fell through with everyone, even Rin who thought of him as a best friend. What a shame."_

If they really wanted to see him they'd come. But they won't. 

_"He could've had a great career! He was so gifted!"_

Haru curled the blanket, pulling it under him and felt the warmth it returned. There were so many things he'd wished hadn't happened, wished things didn't turn out this way. But he'd learned to become a secondary character in his own story. He lost interest in the things he loved. He didn't need other people to drive away his loneliness, he just needed to talk to it. 

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhaaaa so I rewrote this chapter because I hated it so ya republishing it and finding the motivation to do it again. I am sorry. Also I want to play around with writing Haru differently, so there is a lot of him thinking depressing things throughout the earlier chapters.
> 
> I am sorry it took so long for this. Even if it is just a rewrite. Thank you for sticking with me.
> 
> Edit: It takes me two weeks for each chapter update and I have a playlist for chapters 1 - 3.
> 
> Tumblr: http://melkachtig.tumblr.com/
> 
> Playlist: http://8tracks.com/bertholdt-bodt/an-oceans-distance


	2. Warmth of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru tries something new for a change; getting out of the house without a reason. Rin comes into play, only to accidentally injure himself on the job. 
> 
> You get a little bit of Makoto's point of view this chapter! I love writing him c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Makoto and Haru live in Iwatobi, they have their whole lives. They just haven't met. They live in the same apartment complex on the outskirts of town, both unknowingly realizing what it truly means to be lonely.

The sun shown brightly through Haru's window, dust floating down in the streams of light, now clearly visible. Haru sniffles and pulls the comforter over his head. The darkness encloses around him again, as if a new night had arrived. 

There were a few things he could never quite understand about the world. Questions would constantly fog his mind, especially at times like this. In the morning when he couldn't bare to move. 

Sometimes the questions remained the same, repeating for weeks on end. Haru rarely had answers.

For instance, why do people leave? There are many logical answers to this question, but everyone has a different opinion. Haru never found an answer that felt right. People leave because they find something new. People leave because there is an invisible barrier separating all of us and sometimes that barrier grows enough to create a world of distance. People leave because they no longer care.

That question hurts the most.

Haru decides to make some breakfast, even though he knows he isn't hungry. It was a distraction. Everything seemed to be a distraction these days.

He saunters to the kitchen, pulling out a freshly wrapped mackerel, only a few days old. Haru doesn't mind.

As the piece sizzles in the frying pan, the smell illuminates the apartment. It's comforting, in a strange way. It reminds him of home.   


Home is now only a relative term. Home is nothing now. Not a house, nor a person. Haru wonders what it must feel like, to find it.   


When will he find it? 

  
  
  


Makoto lifted the back of his hand to wipe sweat forming on his brow. It was a Sunday and it was ruthless. The summer heat left Iwatobi in August but there were still some remnants trapped in the smog of downtown. Iwatobi is quite a small town, something you could simply miss if you were asleep during a long car ride, but it had modernized over the past couple of years.

And that meant a downtown was built. Not Makoto's first choice for where a flower shop should be, but he couldn't complain. He had a shop, right? And that was good enough for him.

It was just on these kinds of days it had it's doubts.

Makoto lifted the last box off the truck and into the small doorway to _his_ shop. He owned this store. For the first time in years, Makoto felt relief knowing he finally accomplished the goal he set for himself 4 years ago. 

He heard a gasp and peered around the counter in the back, finding a red head hunched over staring at his hand.

"Makoto I'm bleeding." Rin stood up and shoved his small, barely noticeable cut on his pinky finger right into Makoto's face. 

"It's barely a scratch Rin, but if you would like a band aid, I'm sure they're in one of these boxes-"

"No I don't need a band aid, I just wanted to show you I was working so hard I managed to injure myself on the job." Rin let out a smug grin and sat down on a pile of boxes, wiping his face with his tank top. 

"Well I guess that's one way to look at it I suppose." Makoto sat himself on his own pile of boxes, beside Rin. He had come to Iwatobi for a month to see everyone before he had to go back for winter training in Australia. 

"I'll tell Sousuke, proving him wrong and that I actually helped you." Makoto chuckled at the thought, Sousuke would only scold him more for pricking himself. 

"Hey Makoto, what do you think? Do you think we are all were we should be in life?" Makoto, taken a back by the sudden question, looked at Rin, mouth half gaped. He just looked up at the ceiling with his arms folded against his chest. Makoto turned back and placed his head on the wall and stared at the ceiling with him. 

He didn't know how to answer.

After high school, they all sort of knew what they wanted to do, It was a struggle at first, but everyone fit into their slots eventually. There wasn't any doubt about the plans we created for ourselves, they all decided throughout their third year. Rin especially knew. He'd always known. 

"Well I mean, I'm living my dream, Nagisa and Rei seem to be doing fine in Tokyo, Ai is teaching swimming, and Sousuke is finding his path along side me in Australia. You have this shop now. We've all come a long way." Rin closed his eyes and sighed for what felt like years. 

Makoto just stared at nothing really, before finding his smile and nodding. Rin was right, everyone seemed to be quite happy with their lives. 

Rin looked at Makoto and stared at the floor, before getting up and stretching his back.

"Sorry, it's nothing." Rin took a smaller pile of boxes and stacked them on the pile he had been sitting on.

"Wait Rin, what do you mea-"

"Sorry man, I have to go. Gotta check in with an old friend, talk to you later." Rin cut him off, turning to head towards the door. 

"Okay. Bye Rin, thank you."

And with that Rin grabbed his sweatshirt off the back of a chair and smiled a tooth smile before going out the door.

All Makoto could do was wave.

  
  
  


Haru sat up, stretching his back as he hovers the pencil just above his head. The day had gone too fast from him, but then again everyday did. At least he was productive.

After a complete 3 hours of sketching, he'd managed to pull off a half decent realism piece of some daises, sitting blissfully in a vase of water; dying. He'd found them while staring out of his window, a bundle trapped between two pieces of the set sidewalk.

It was worth the trip of picking them and venturing outside. 

Sketching wasn't like painting, it didn't have as much pressure. You can erase a sketch and not waste any expensive paint in the process. 

Haru slowly stood up, almost falling due to his legs being asleep. He was so used to the feeling, it numbed over the years. He picked up the sketch and went to sit at the small dinning room table, which barely had room for one person.

Haru folded the paper carefully, making extra sure to make no mistakes. He placed it into an envelop and wrote the same familiar address on it- his parents. 

He threw it on a pile of envelops resting in a pile on the far corner of the table. 

He could never send it. 

Haru got up to go fix a small dinner, probably consisting mackerel again. Another distraction.

Before he could open the fridge, the sound of knocking echoed the whole apartment. It was a cautious knock, but grew stronger and faster as Haru stood in the kitchen, not moving to answer it. 

Haru sighed and sauntered towards the door, hoping whomever it was would leave before he reached the door.

They did not.

Haru opened the door as far as the door chain lock would let him, and he looked for a body. 

This one had red hair, and had turned his back towards the door, sighing and looking down at a piece of paper. Haru knew and slowly started to close the door, hoping he wouldn't notice.

But he did. He turned to face the door, staring through the crack at Haru.

"Long time Haru, it's been years." He flashed a toothy grin, but Haru could feel caution and worry in his voice. 

"Rin." Haru closed the door and unlocked it, opening it fully to face him, exposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh this chapter is done. Like I said, it usually takes me two weeks to do them, and there was a holiday. Thank you for waiting!
> 
> I tried to write both Makoto and Rin this chapter- Rin is a bit harder to write then expected and I hope I did a good job with him so far :) Also, I got bitten by so many mosquitoes over the weekend, I hate it! 
> 
> Makoto and Haru will meet again next chapter, for Makoto is a literal sweetheart and Haru is grumpy in the mornings. 
> 
> My Tumblr: http://melkachtig.tumblr.com/
> 
> Playlist for chapters 1 - 3: http://8tracks.com/bertholdt-bodt/an-oceans-distance
> 
> Until next time!


	3. It Comes and It Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally find out some stuff about what went down between the two fated rivals, Nagisa and Rei make a _unique_ appearance, and Makoto just really loves making people happy.

Rin closed his eyes and let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck, the piece of paper all but crumbled. He shoved it quickly into his pants pocket.

Haru immediately regretted his decision to open the door, let alone speak. It's been too long. His shoulders began to slouch and his eyes trailed down to his feet. 

Why was he here?

"Hey Haru, can I come in? It's weird just standing here, staring at each other." Rin looked at him with a blank expression and when Haru looked up at him again, one of his eyebrows was raised, questioningly. 

Haru nodded and opened up the doorway by moving back. As soon as Rin was inside, he closed the door and stood there, clasping the handle and closed his eyes. It wasn't like Rin to just visit. He was in Australia. No one ever decided to visit and Haru appreciated that because it meant no need to start conversations which always led to whoever came over being worried for Haru's well being. It was exhausting. 

Rin stood in the kitchen and lingered. He looked around and shook his head before letting out a smile. Haru had shifted from the door and into the only seat at the dinning room table. He thought about offering it to Rin, but he seemed to have made himself comfortable resting on the kitchen counter.

"So, Haru, it's been a long time. Four years, actually." Rin looked up to meet Haru's gaze, but Haru quickly turned his head away. It was always the same. 

An awkward silence was the response and Rin tried again. "What have you been doing all this time? You never called."

An empty, clawing feeling started to grow in Haru's stomach as the silence began to grow larger. Rin wanted a long, in depth talk which Haru couldn't provide. He couldn't answer the small questions, let alone _that_ one. 

His parent's stopped calling years ago so he hadn't been faced with it. Faced with reality. Haru wanted to run, just run and then fall into a great void where no one would ask questions he couldn't answer.

But even running had become impossible.

"Hello? Haru? Are you listening?" Rin got up off the counter and straightened as he stood. He took his hands out of his pockets and stared, waiting for a response.

"I don't know." Haru folded his arms across his chest and looked at the stack of letters. 

"Huh? What do you mean you don't know? Don't know what? Rin shook his head and sighed. Haru decided to look at him, in the eyes. Rin just stared back, gesturing for an answer.

"I don't know. I don't know what you want. I don't know why you are here." Haru looked away again and he could feel Rin getting angrier with every breath. It was hard to swallow.

"I'm here because you've isolated yourself for years Haru! You never call anyone, you've pushed everyone away! You're ruining your life!" Rin began to yell and Haru let it wash over him, unnerving. It hurt and the pain in his stomach wanted to come out of his throat. His eyes went dry and his hands trembled. 

Why was he here?

"Haru, listen to me! Everyone is worried, you can't live like this! Do something with your life! Say something and stop just staring at the ground!" Rin was coming closer now and Haru wanted to run. His legs wouldn't move. No more. No more please, Rin couldn't understand.

Haru didn't dare look when Rin came up to him and slammed his fist onto the table. Angry sobs could be heard. Haru felt his own start to form and he just let them. He was tired and couldn't possibly care if people saw him cry anymore. 

"Haru, please. I don't want to fight with you, I just want to see you happy. You're my friend." Rin choked back another sob. Haru just stared at the floor.

Haru tried to speak, but nothing came out. There was a lump in his throat. There was a fire in his blood, an ache in his heart. He began to tremble. Rin looked at him and slowly stood up and wiped his eyes.

"This was a bad idea, I- Haru I'm sorry, I'll go." Rin pulled something out of his pocket and placed it on the table. He was still sniffling, but this time he was trying to hide it.

Haru heard the door shut and the apartment became silent again. He let the tears flow down his cheeks as he held his body. 

_"He fell through with everyone, even Rin who thought of him as a best friend. What a shame."_

Haru cried harder.

"I don't know anymore."

  
  
  


Makoto locked the door behind him and took a step back. The paint had dried and the flowers all had arrived or bloomed. Since Sunday, he had been unpacking and rearranging arrangements for a week straight. Everything was perfect. He could open the shop tomorrow. He could open _his_ shop tomorrow. He smiled and it grew into a huge goofy one, where he had to bite his lip to hide it.

Makoto turned to look down the street and there were two bodies walking towards him, one began running and waving frantically while the other simply walked and shook his head. They were both right on time, as expected.

"Mako-chan! Rei-chan says he doesn't like ice cream! Mako-chan what will we do now?" Nagisa grew a few inches since Makoto had last seen him and Rei had bought a different pair of glasses. However, they both looked almost the exact same since graduating high school and that was comforting. 

"Now now, we can just go somewhere else. It's fine!" As Makoto tried to calm down Nagisa, Rei sighed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Makoto-senpai, I do like some ice cream, Nagisa just got this idea that I don't because I declined his offer of a bite of his strawberry ice cream while on the train ride here." Nagisa nervously laughed and whined about how Rei isn't kind and Makoto smiled simply. 

It was nice to have them around again. 

"Now we have to get moving, if we don't Rin will be the one waiting." Makoto patted both Rei and Nagisa on the shoulder and started to move them in the right direction. 

They ended up bickering the entire time. 

They entered the ice cream parlor and picked a table beside a window out looking the small row of houses that blocked the beach from the rest of town. The sun had begun to go down and the light shown through out the parlor, dancing shapes of buildings along the floor.

"Makoto-senpai, when did Rin-san said he would be here?" Nagisa had already picked up a menu and pointed at least five things he wanted to try.

"He said he'd be here for 6:30, we can hold off ordering until he arrives." Makoto smiled and nodded at Nagisa, whom looked up with a wimping expression.

"Ahhh Mako-chan no fair, Rin-chan is always late and I'm hungry!" Nagisa whined and Rei sighed, placing his hand on top of Nagisa's before looking him in the eye.

"Nagisa, Rin-san will be here soon, you can wait." Nagisa pouted but ultimately gave up and closed the menu. Rei smiled and squeezed Nagisa's hand.

"Fine but Rin-chan isn't getting a bite of my sundae." Rei sighed and Nagisa laughed at him. Nothing truly had changed.

"So, tell me about Tokyo! Is it as cool as Nagisa has been saying in texts?" Makoto was geniuly curious and keeping up to date with everyone was something he promised himself he would do once they all graduated. 

Rei's attention perked up and he immediately began to go on about how beautiful the sunset was from their apartment, the public transit was convenient, and the food was ethnically diverse. Nagisa was in a local Tokyo college and Rei was an apprentice of a large scientific research division. 

They were living their lives. Rin had been right.

Just as Nagisa picked up the menu again, Rin walked into the parlor and Nagisa got up and waved him over. He didn't look up.

"Rin-chan is everything okay? You don't look so good." Nagisa gave him a once over and looked at Rei, upset was written all over his face. Rei saw it as well, but before he could repeat the same question, Rin cut him off.

"I'm fine, it happened a while ago." Rin rubbed the back of his head and looked away. No one wanted to pry but no one also wanted to leave the conversation on such a bad cord. 

Nagisa managed to stop the silence from continuing, Makoto thought everyone must have sighed of relief at the same time. 

Makoto looked around the table and smiled. It didn't feel happy, it was a smile the showed sorrow hiding behind it. Something wasn't right.

Something felt missing.

  
  
  


Haru raised one out stretched hand above his head and let it fall onto his face. The clock on his night stand read 11:38 a.m. He didn't want to move anymore.

He heard the door bell ring. It echoed through out the apartment, hauntingly. Haru had no intention of answering it, so he let whomever it was ring the door bell dry.

Rin had left his number on a small torn piece of paper that day. It happened a week ago but it felt so much more rawer than that. The memory leaves a surface cut every time it was thought. 

Haru still didn't have an answer.

The door bell stopped ringing and Haru heard the sound of something being dropped near his door. The person must have left.

After Haru debated for hours about getting up, he finally shuffled to the door and opened it slightly, only a crack. 

He peered down and his eye caught sight of a small clay planting pot, with a sprout peeking through the dirt. A piece of paper was underneath, held in place by the pot.

Haru unlocked the door and picked up the little pot and opened the half folded note. It read:

_I'm sorry again for hitting you with that bag of dirt! Please take this tiny aloe plant as a sorry present. I hope you accept it! They can grow to be beautiful plants! :)_  
Makoto

Haru closes the door and sets the pot on the window seal, the afternoon light shining upon the tiny plant. 

Something warm was felt. It wasn't from the light. 

It felt genuine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit longer to write! But in addition, it's longer then the rest c:
> 
> I really wanted to write Nagisa and Rei, so I got to! I hope I didn't make Nagisa too whiny, his character is hard for me to write :c But they are together, if you know what I mean c;
> 
> In the next chapter, Rin tries to invite Haru to a swimming party, Makoto and Haru actually talk, and Sousuke is an ok guy.
> 
> My Tumblr: http://melkachtig.tumblr.com/
> 
> Playlist for chapters 1 - 3: http://8tracks.com/bertholdt-bodt/an-oceans-distance
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
